Does anybody really care what this guy thinks?

So I think it is safe to say that Philebrity has jumped the shark, run back to the tank, replaced the shark with a horse, and is now beating its wet, lifeless corpse. We all know the blog lost all semblance of street cred or integrity long ago (see the above picture) when its creator, professional douchbag Joey Sweeney appeared in a special advertising section for Philly Mag last year. He and his ladyfriend spent a weekend in AC with Infiniti's newest coupe, whispering cheesy, marketable platitudes into each others' ears. Here's a taste:

JOEY: I just like that there was a keyless entry to the car and that it can be turned on with the push of a button. Did you also notice how people treated us nicer when they saw us coming and going in this car?

RUTH: Yes, that about sums it up. I even got hit on at the car wash. Good thing for you I had to give that car back.

Hahaha, isn't life grand? Only one problem, though...if you are going to make your living speaking for the whole boho, living-just-enough-for-the-city, DIY market, doesn't wearing a suit and shilling for Infiniti make you a parody of yourself? (answer: yes, yes it does).

So it should come as no surprise that Sweeney has once again contradicted himself without even realizing it. In a post this week, Philebrity set to its usual task of attacking Sweeney's former employer Philadelphia Weekly and, more specifically, columnist Steven Wells. This is not new. Wells has had an ongoing feud with Philebrity for some time now. This time though, Wells stepped over the line: he attacked Belle and Sebastian.



In his Opening Riff column this week, Wells called the British kings of twee "a freakish cancer on the pop body politic...they’re what all white American boys and girls want to be when they don’t grow up."

This clearly offended Sweeney, a well-known B&S fan (natch!) who fired back at Wells:

"Oh, you poor, sad fucker. Look at you. A grown man, getting all piss-n-vinegar-y (yes, we know it’s your go-to mode) over a band that hasn’t even released an album in two whole years."



Leading inquiring minds to ask 'aren't you hosting a Belle and Sebastian Dance Party?' The National Mechanics party Philebrity's hosting shows that they don't have much of a leg to stand on, talking about a grown man "getting all piss-n-vinegar-y " about Belle and Sebastian. After all, they secured a location and distributed fliers. Sweeney may as well be on their fucking street team. Isn't that a job for wide eyed teenagers?

And while there is no need to explain this, Belle and Sebastian have more than a following. Clearly their influence is felt by more than just aging hipsters. In the article, Wells draws comparisons to The Decemberists and Los Campesinos. He could have also mentioned The Libertines, The Shins, Of Montreal, Ben Kweller, Sufjan Stevens, Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah!, Peter Bjorn and John, Stars...and the list goes on.

But then, Sweeney already knew that. Because reading further into this post, we see what this vitriolic screed is really about.

"Everybody knows PW is a sinking ship, start planning your exit and sucking up to The Guardian for full-time work, and for the love of god, DO NOT SEND THEM THIS PIECE."

This was never about Belle and Sebastian or about Wells being out of touch or even about his piece making a mockery of Philebrity's ridiculous dance party. This comes back to Philebrity's bitterness at PW, their overall attitude toward "mainstream media" (read: stories people actually care about) and their obsession with smarmy gripes (warranted or unwarranted) against their perceived enemies. Philebrity, losing credibility? Anyone having a flashback?

These ill-advised personal attacks bring everything the blog says into question. So here is a recommendation: if you want anyone to respect what you say, you may want to stop going after low-hanging fruit (excuse the pun) like Jay McCarroll.

As readers of Philebrity will remember, the blog picked fights with McCarroll after he won Project Runway's debut season because "he was just suuuuuuch an outsize, raunchy, nasty, mean bitch to us that we’ve been slapping him on the wrists ever since." Its nice to see that the integrity over there has not reached above a high school cafeteria. Look at his picture: there is so much here to lampoon. His actions, the things he says, his personality, these are gossip. Your feud with him is not. God, even US Weekly has the decency to at least make up a reason for stalking celebrities.

So lets wrap this up. If you want to come after Philadelphia Weekly and other news outlets, you might want to just point out the absurdity and humor of this city without actually being a part of it yourself. It just makes Philebrity look like a sad, self-loathing, bitter teenager, angrily posting on her MySpace about all the jerks in her school. Just because no one takes you seriously doesn't mean you should give up the ghost. After all, you still work there.